Sunday, November 20, 2011
Revision Needed
It appears to me the argument made by Engie Salama for the Daily Trojan does not come across the way the author intended when the piece was written. The article makes it appear the author is against equality for transgenders in our society, opposing new California laws that allow one to legally change their gender easier. I feel the author was trying to make a point entirely separate from this. I feel she wanted to say that the government needs to do more to support equality for transgenders and homosexuals.
The last line of her piece talks about how the government needs to “realize that there are worse forms of injustice than discrimination against whom people choose to be.” Looking at this it would appear she wants more action to be taken in the future. Although these bills are a necessary step the government must take to bring equality to transgenders, some people could possibly see these as just symbolic actions taken by the government to gain public support. They are not necessarily accomplishing much with these bills. I believe the author wants to see our government do more to promote equality than just allowing you to change your gender. She also states the economic status of many transgenders in our country, saying “23 percent of transgender people earn wages below the poverty level.” She clearly wants action to be taken to help these people gain better lives. This essay needs a major revision to clearly articulate the author’s true thesis.
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I agree that Salama could probably have come across as less harsh if she had been a little different in her approach or if she had worded her thoughts a little differently.
ReplyDeleteI really don't think that was the point she was trying to make. When she says, "realize that there are worse forms of injustice..." it seems to me that she's saying that there are better things for the government to focus thier attention. And when she says that statistic of the 23%, if you read what precedes it, she is essentially saying that the reason why that statistic exists may not have to do anything with the fact that they are transgender but maybe "A multitude of factors, including minority status socioeconomic status, and education".
ReplyDeleteI understand what you're saying, and I wish I can see that light because it saddens me that a USC student among us would have such transphobic thoughts, but I really don't see it.
I think you're being too generous to the author, Alex.
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