Against Monogamy

I agree with Bersani’s idea that monogamy restricts and suppresses people’s sexual desires. I personally think that polygamy, in the sense of an open relationship, is a much more realistic situation than long term monogamous relationships. A person should not be forced to suppress their sexual desires in a relationship, and I think the situation where two people in a relationship are allowed to confront these desires can actually be more healthy than the current idea of monogamous relationships. However, after talking with my friends, I realized that this is not the general sentiment, and that this situation is highly unlikely.

An example of a polygamous relationship that I think could work is in the book The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. The main character, Mikael, frequently sleeps with his friend and colleague, Erika, who is married. Her husband is aware of this situation and is comfortable with this. However, I think this relationship is somewhat flawed because it could work better if both people in the relationship are equally exploring their sexual desires. As Maddie previously pointed out, there are many double standards when it comes to polygamy when people actually attempt to carry this out, and I think polygamous relationships need to be assessed on a case by case basis.

I am not arguing that the type of polygamy where a man is married with multiple wives is a good situation. Another point that Bersani brings up is the fact that people seek monogamy as a way to create a family, and that two parent households are shown to be the best way to raise children. However, there can still be an open relationship where this situation is still present. Nevertheless, after much debate with my friends about this subject, I realize that this situation would likely never occur and is much more complex than just this because of people’s emotions and complexities.