Faggot=Loser, Sons' Relationships With Their Parents

"Boys are pushed to separate prematurely from their mothers, leaving boys to detach or separate from their feelings."

In this chapter of "Boyhoods Rethinking Masculinities" by Ken Corbett, Corbett states that a number of theorists have built on a framework that suggests that since boys are typically pushed away from their mothers at an early age, they become aggressive and have disorganized attention spans as they grow older. However, what this theory fails to address is the complexities of the mother-son relationship when the parents are of the same sex. For example, if two mothers raise a son together, would the son still be forced to prematurely separate from their moms and thus be limited in their "capacities to recognize others and build relations through mutual give-and-take?" And if two fathers raised a son together, would the son not have any consideration of others at all, since he has not been been raised under a female presence? The intricacies of parent-son relationships can play a great role in determining the characteristics and beliefs of the son. Sons from queer families may not be self-satisfied "based on their overestimation of the penis, phallic pride, and narcissist exhibitionism." While the son may still be exposed to the traditional definition of "masculinity" from societal influences, but he may more likely be instilled with general openness towards what it really means to be "masculine" and "feminine."

"I need a man who wants me to feel and be like him. I"m alone with my needs to have and be like my father."

Recognizing the existence of such families where there may not be a clear "father" and "mother," one may question whether there really is a need for boys to have a fatherly figure in order to progress normally. In the chapter, Corbett explains how he may be failing to "adequately absorb something about Josh's desire for affirmation, in particular, his longing for a father who could see and prize a boy's wish to grow and be like him." This notion that Josh feels he needs his father's confirmation and acceptance brings up the issue of sons always wanting to be like their father. Where does this desire come from? Maybe sons innately born with a sense that they need someone that wants them to be like them. Or maybe this conception is only socially constructed through the common depictions of the son always wanting to be like his dad and the daughter growing up to be like her mom. If this is true, then what happens when sons do not have both a mother and father figure in their lives? All of these questions signify the difficulty in stating that boys develop their phallic pride and masculine defenses through lacking relationships with their mothers and their longing for fatherly traits.