Sunday, October 09, 2011

From Monogamy to Free Love

"Psychoanalytically speaking, monogamy is cognitively inconceivable and morally indefensible." Bersani introduces his essay with strong words that hook the audience's attention, whether they agree with him or not.

Bersani's essay actually reminded me of the lecture that Vivian Gornick gave at USC on Wednesday. In her lecture, titled "The Problem of Free Love: Emma Goldman, Anarchy, and the Idea of the Liberated Self," although Gornick does not address psychoanalysis or the Oedipal Complex directly, she advocates the idea that "monogamy is cognitively inconceivable and morally indefensible." Gornick expounds on this idea by explaining that two people get married based on their initial infatuations. Infatuations, however, are ephemeral. Thus, once the infatuation is gone, the couple is stuck together whether they like it or not. As a solution, Gornick proposes the idea of free love, passionate love and sex without sanction (marriage). Through her lecture and her narration of anarchist Emma Goldman's life, Gornick mocks the idea of sanctioned monogamy.

In regards to popular culture, the ideas from Bersani's essay can be used to analyze the character of Chandler from Friends.


Chandler's mother is undeniably attractive, which his other friends tease him about. His character is portrayed with feminine qualities which the other friends also tease him about. Perhaps his Oedipal Complex towards his mother internalized her wants and desires, which he lets slip (Freudian slips?) in comical dialogs throughout the series. Chandler is known, amongst his group, as the friend that is probably homosexual (he never comes out of the closet throughout the show and is presumed to be heterosexual). Nevertheless, his character illustrates the sort of gender fluidity, the bisexuality that Bersani and Freud consider to be more acceptable. Taking this argument that most people are probably bisexual but have regressed to familial norms or repressed the unacceptable end of their desires, their truly is no moral backing for monogamy. If Chandler marries a woman but has a part in him that is attracted to men, he is not doing justice to himself as well as to her by entering a sanctioned love contract that will inevitably suffocate both of them.

2 comments:

  1. Great post! I hadn't thought of Chandler, when I first read the essay, but now I can see it. Your comment about his gender fluidity reminded me of the episode where Rachel gives him a tape so that he can try to quit smoking, but the tape was actually meant for women so he ends up acting womanly.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GHq1XfEgk0

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  2. This is really interesting about the notion of gender fluidity but on those terms, I don't think we would be doing justice to the character of Chandler by labeling him as probably homosexual. While he might have moments in which he seems more effeminate, it might really be that he simply is more sensitive or "girly" without the implication that because of his femininity, he must be gay. I agree more with your points that those lapses within his sexual ambiguity might be more about his bisexuality, but maybe that's not to be taken as unacceptable because based on Bersani's argument, aren't we all like that?

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