Free Love Vs. Monogamy

Leo Bersani argues "Against Monogamy", claiming it to be a construct that is paradoxically revered by society, despite the contradictions it has with humans' innate polygamous desires. In repressing the need for humans to experiment and attempt to satisfy their "whirlwind of desiring mobility". Not directly advocating polygamous relationships, Bersani merely explores the irrationality of monogamy through the psychoanalytical understanding of the subconscious. Bersani is not alone in this thinking. Much of his arguments resonate with the feminist movement that anarchist Emma Goldman represented, as discussed in Vivian Gornick's lecture--albeit with some clashes.

Vivian Gornick depicted Emma Goldman as a passionate woman who spoke for anarchy, devoting herself to the idea of "free love", that relationships are sprung from erotic desires and that monogamous relationships are restrictive of innate freedom to love whomever one wishes. Goldman firmly believed that "free love" is the harbinger of hope and ecstasy, the most genuine expression of freedom for one's unalienable right to think and to feel freely. Similar to Goldman, Bersani understands that in civilization there is a repressive nature on sexuality, in which "present-day civilization" only "permits sexual relationships" in the form of ultimate monogamous bonds and "does not like sexuality as a source of pleasure" and only "tolerates [sexuality] as a means of propagating the human race" (page 12). And as the feminists who resurrected Goldman for their cause would argue like Bersani, monogamy is a repressive system on women because its essence is the "right to exclusive possession of a woman".

However, there is a difference in Goldman's anarchistic thinking and Bersani's psychoanalysis. Unlike Goldman who fought against "civilization" and monogamy in the name of free love, Bersani sees an already inherent paradox in a civilization based on monogamous relationships. Bersani noted an ironic disconnect between "society's goal" of upholding monogamous relationships to foster stable families as a means of creating a collective community and the "sexual love between two individuals that resists" such communal bonds. While both Bersani and Goldman argue against monogamy for the benefit of peace in the individual, one for the satisfaction of the subconscious promiscuous self and the other for the fulfillment of one's innate right to free love, the inherent understanding of the freedom to love is different. Bersani sees the end of monogamy as allowing people to form communal bonds through love, but Goldman sees the free love as a individualistic anarchistic pursuit.